Last night, while the hubby and I watched reruns of Castle, I told him I wanted two things— a tattoo and colored contacts, preferably hazel. Brown eyes are totally boring and a fairy tattoo will be lovely somewhere on my body. He vetoed both ideas. He knows I made those suggestions because I’m antsy, waiting for my muse to return.
I’ve been avoiding the computer. I’m afraid the motivation to write is gone, lost somewhere in the piles of what I call my hectic life. When I admitted this fear, my therapist reassured me the creative spark will return. After all, these stories have lived inside me since junior high school.
But what happens when a passion evolves into an obsession? Slowly, my nights of writing stretched into early mornings during the work week. On weekends, I spent the whole day writing. Suddenly, I lived and breathe writing. Everything else fell to the wayside. Nothing else mattered.
I believed everyone saw my crash and burn coming except for me. I took on too much, attempting to write four books for three series on top of starting a trilogy. I don’t know why or how I came up with the idea of trying to release four full length books a year. So much creative energy went into those stories that I had nothing left to give to everyone around me— my friends and family.
If you’ve followed my journey to publication through this blog, you know I’ve been trying to find a balance between my writing and my life for a long time now. I thought I was close to achieving it. In reality, I was stumbling along until I fell flat on my face. I had failed to recognize what was important to me— my friends and family. I’m hoping by salvaging the meaningful relationships in my life, the spark of passion and creativity will return.
Song on replay: Overjoyed by Matchbox Twenty
Quote of the week: “The word ‘happiness’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.”~ Carl Jung